Random Thoughts and Talk

I think you might want to go somewhere with me Jimmy, but you leave me hanging with no specifics..... You are hanging out with John Atchison and either want us to talk about something or be together. I will not ever want to be in any relationship with John in this lifetime. I would consider him to have an extreme chauvinism that I would never want to live or deal with. I'm insulted and hurt that you would open an inch of a door for him with the history I have had and the way he treated me. With the other places you go, I find it hard to believe that you would have suggestion for him. It is contradicting. What is it that you would have to say? …… Speaking of a John, is another "Jon," and it is not Jon Stewart and a guy who looks a lot like you. I have only seen him once and boy did it seem that both you and him were very arbited today. I saw your look alikes everywhere and it bothers me to know I have seen this Jon only one time and I wouldn't recognize him if I saw him again. Unless I do get another delivery call with the same place, name, and appearance; I won't be able to guess to recognize him. I am pretty sure that that was his name on a particular delivery call...…. It is like he could be his own person but he could also be used as a senator that you Jimmy and Jon just have too much in common and he was only used as some communication tool. I saw a distant and simple rehash and some visual signs today but I'm not sure what to think or believe about everything. It is distant with no real tangible communication. I know something is going on, but I don't know what is going on. It sucks that this guy's name is "Jon." I don't think he wants to make too much of his real name and it is nothing to worry about. I really think he could have been picking on me with wanting to hook up. If he is such a dominate guy and can have some kind of Stockholm the way he does, he should be capable of meeting me in person. I am terrified of the thought that someone would let the other John Atchison have control over my life with a Stockholm but I believe this Jon to be his Jon of his own.... While there is a little relief with someone who still is a stranger, he still does have me frustrated with his god complex some, but he could be another man where "maybe it is best for us to not ever meet or be together." I don't know Jimmy. All I know is something is going on with you and this guy. ….. I have been frustrated with work and wish I could go out tonight or have more time but just chose to stay in. I've had a couple of new things going on that is somewhat of a deal, but nothing too eventful. What I need is more eventful things going on but I've just been too busy in my work and oppression. I finally got a kitchen table and cheap chairs to go with it for now. I finally got rid of Bam Bam and don't have too much of a regret. I was a little sad and could have made myself cry if I wanted to when giving him away but I just didn't cry. As much as Mitzi complained about him with me, she cried, and I felt awful to put her heart through a little more hardship. It was hard for her to move out of Cumberland and say goodbye to everyone she had known. I wish I would have been able to move out sooner so it wouldn't have been such a heart break for her. I will eventually force myself to sign up for a dating site because I don't know how I am going to find any men anytime soon. I will have some kind of peace of mind when I get some dating sight profile done. I still have to get my air conditioning fixed and work is extra oppressive without it being fixed in being that I can only do food deliveries. I have to work longer and even more recently with some more cuts here and there than compared to past times. Summer is obviously a slower season with less boosts and bonuses..... I still don't know what other job I would look for. Something online but it is the flexibility and convenience I love the most about uber. It isn't always convenient with the time it takes.... I wish I had more free time.