Jon, there are still a few things I've said that I meant. And despite feeling pointless about saying anything about anything, I feel like being talkative anyway. I know you hate me. I know you hate when I'm either arrogant or confident as well. I just can't help but think of you when I hear Lenny Kravitz "American Woman," song. ~You're no good for me, I'm no good for you, I'm going to look you right straight in the eye and tell you what I'm going to do.........~ bye bye so many times..... I don't want to ruin the song with so much symbolism though. Sometimes, it could just be generalized. I also feel a little bit of a hypocrit. With so much structure and systematics of it all, one dream thought is to move to Canada and be a Canadian. They've already shown a little support, but it is a big idea to not think too much of right now. Really am trying to avoid war, but with so much structure mixed with so little structure, some battles and wars are simply unavoidable......
I watched "The Hangover 2," yesterday...... Not sure where Mike Jones went. I havn't been keeping tabs in the media. It seems like there could be someone with me right now, but not 100% sure who and not trusting anything. ..... Back to Hangover 2...... one idea is the illustration in "The Watchmen," where the Adrian guy uses nuclear warfare to have split the Jon character into several pieces. Maybe it is just you being a bisexual polygamist and you may either be getting tortured or someone has a difficult time in trying to fathom you. I know myself it could be difficult in fathoming you. I stay anorexic to any drama or any characters. If you seriously did think I was a "tranny," it looks like you are fascist with transvestites. Do I believe Kim is one? Not really. I would believe it to see it. Her real gender isn't going to change anything about what I think of her. Despite whatever is going on with the NWO, I stick with personal issues and damn the people who would want to control me with the NWO. It is another impossible circumstance. My assumption is that you are bisexual and the following assumption would be rather than believe what you say when you trash the transvestite community, to assume you think they are the best of both worlds. Some people are born certain ways and are not intentionally trying to be X-rated. I'm just so fed up with so much X-ratedness and sexual abuse in my world. Maybe you were raped. Maybe despite the movie and said media drama, there is nothing, but there is more awkwardness with you. You have been so two-faced and such a creep to have been in favor of some stalkers, sex offenders and sexual predators including my dad. I can see you're two-faced with him too. But, you are too much of a creep and predator altogether. I don't trust you. I don't trust you in so many ways and on so many levels. I don't know why you do play the role of the white knight sometimes. Maybe you are seductive and emotionally manipulative for your own controlling reasons and maybe you don't want to lose me. You're just too much of a creep altogether.
Another assertion with who I am: I don't always believe you have to try something to have an opinion. I don't believe I have to be experimental with everything. Of a lot of examples, I'll apply the philosophy to the idea of drugs. I wanted to try out Marijuana. I didn't mind it. I can live without it, and especially if I am serious about wanting to get a job. I don't have to try other harder drugs to make up my mind to knock it or not knock on it. I simply don't want to take some drugs period. Sexually, I'm confident to know I don't have to try everything to know whether or not I want it. I think I'm just too overtested and provoked way too much by so many people to have to say it to you the way I say it. I'm sick of being tested and I'm sick of the arrogant power trips people let themselves have that they are the "superior judge." I don't know how long I will be living alone or if I'm cursed to live alone for the rest of my life. If that is how life is; than I just deal with it and hope that maybe eventually some people would recognize me for who I really am.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
As the Sarah Turns
As the Sarah turns, she gets stuck in Burmuda from time to time, and this is a time where she is in Burmuda.......
Back to first person....
I think I will start with Lance. Right now, it is possible that he could be trying to get across that he is being a senator for Mitzi's father, John. I was initially sold on the idea that Lance was in the house to represent himself. Before I go further, facts are facts. If someone takes credit for something that they do not have, in my world, they are called a W-I-G-G-E-R. There are several definitions or reasons to be called one, but wrongful credibility is one of them. It is impossible to make love and not war and I hate the idea of being a war monger. I never have and still do not see myself as John's inferior. Despite the thesis of Mad Men, John can't buy himself a name that I will intentionally perceive. I know he is not a millionaire but when there are literal advantages and at least having a job and income is one of them; I will not let him use that factor against me. In furthering that, Child support is child support is just that. Technically, he is not paying it yet. I have noticed how judgemental he is and also the bully he is. I have already been offended by both his demonizing and bullying. My intelligence will not be undermined and neither will my sense of character. If he thinks he will have me manipulated with child support into thinking that I should be somehow enslaved or given the label as a hooker for recieving child support, he has another thing coming to him. If he wants to demonize me more for coming off as such a bitch; it is a result of his own consequences with how he has already been from the start. Call me pancakes; I don't care.
..............
With Jon S, it really is the same story that is just making its rounds in different ways. I think I may have been picking up and learning more things. He seems to be more violent and deadly. I don't know what or how to fix this. He has many approaches. One of them is threatening with who and how many people he has some sort of sexual relations and even adding bisexual. Another approach is that of a game of sucker. Sometimes his games of being a sucker can be more lethal than others, but I have a hard time believing that adults and especially an adult like him would play sucker games. He is a comedian. He is just unfair in so many ways and in this instance, it isn't fair for him to play sorts of games and his sucker games and be lethal and serious at the same time. He has some kind of expectation for me to either keep playing games or for me to allow him to take advantage. It just isn't fair to be serious and joking at the same time. Of course it isn't right for him at all to be lethal about anything either. How could he be expecting of me to take him seriously after all of his lies, games, tricks, and jokes? How could he want to be taken seriously, trusted, or believed about anything?
...............
There are a few other men I think about. I don't have a lot to say right now. ................
Back to first person....
I think I will start with Lance. Right now, it is possible that he could be trying to get across that he is being a senator for Mitzi's father, John. I was initially sold on the idea that Lance was in the house to represent himself. Before I go further, facts are facts. If someone takes credit for something that they do not have, in my world, they are called a W-I-G-G-E-R. There are several definitions or reasons to be called one, but wrongful credibility is one of them. It is impossible to make love and not war and I hate the idea of being a war monger. I never have and still do not see myself as John's inferior. Despite the thesis of Mad Men, John can't buy himself a name that I will intentionally perceive. I know he is not a millionaire but when there are literal advantages and at least having a job and income is one of them; I will not let him use that factor against me. In furthering that, Child support is child support is just that. Technically, he is not paying it yet. I have noticed how judgemental he is and also the bully he is. I have already been offended by both his demonizing and bullying. My intelligence will not be undermined and neither will my sense of character. If he thinks he will have me manipulated with child support into thinking that I should be somehow enslaved or given the label as a hooker for recieving child support, he has another thing coming to him. If he wants to demonize me more for coming off as such a bitch; it is a result of his own consequences with how he has already been from the start. Call me pancakes; I don't care.
..............
With Jon S, it really is the same story that is just making its rounds in different ways. I think I may have been picking up and learning more things. He seems to be more violent and deadly. I don't know what or how to fix this. He has many approaches. One of them is threatening with who and how many people he has some sort of sexual relations and even adding bisexual. Another approach is that of a game of sucker. Sometimes his games of being a sucker can be more lethal than others, but I have a hard time believing that adults and especially an adult like him would play sucker games. He is a comedian. He is just unfair in so many ways and in this instance, it isn't fair for him to play sorts of games and his sucker games and be lethal and serious at the same time. He has some kind of expectation for me to either keep playing games or for me to allow him to take advantage. It just isn't fair to be serious and joking at the same time. Of course it isn't right for him at all to be lethal about anything either. How could he be expecting of me to take him seriously after all of his lies, games, tricks, and jokes? How could he want to be taken seriously, trusted, or believed about anything?
...............
There are a few other men I think about. I don't have a lot to say right now. ................
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