random thoughts

....................... There are some times when I wish I knew who was talking to me or who I am talking to, and times that I seriously don't care at all...... A lot of silence too.... I think if there was another song that could best describe my outlook of my love life it would still be Janet Jackson's "Someone to Call My Lover," I don't necessarily see myself as giving up on a few certain games going on; I'm just not going to be sold out on them. secrets secrets secrets......... I am a little fragile right now to know things, but sometimes, there isn't enough yet to know you know. The game goes on and I know I've never been good on games. Thus, me being single for most of my life. ...... I think about my personal Barilla sometimes, but there is this mutual cruelty where things are not going any further. I guess if he were to get aggressive on me and was nice, I could see myself cozying up with him, but I kind of gotten over him...... I feel blinded to a lot of things. I feel blinded in not understanding why some enemies would want to morbidly test me. I don't know what they are after or just why they are being that way... In a separate mind of thought, I feel blinded to a few other men who I think want me. Some are too quiet and/ or just take no action to show a serious intent or interest. I really haven't had my mind focused on the idea of being in a relationship, life just happens sometimes whether it works out or not...... While some secrets could be of question, I know I still have my secrets and what I think and keep to myself..... When life has been the way it has been, I just don't care about things sometimes. I don't always care about some pressures. ........... I just don't know what one guy is up to and I'm not 100% sure of what he really thinks, or could want to know... or what some other guys could be up to.......