As The Sarah Turns

Where do I begin?...... I think I'll talk about some of the VIPs first... lol ... When at my night job; I mostly see my job as an adult entertainer for what it is. I don't make a relationship out of any or every customer. Whatever has happened in my own sights or blindnesses, I personally see both Angelina and Brad as dear people. I really don't know how to react to Brad. I think I could take him as a friendly person who doesn't want me to be depressed or on the crazy depressed side. Maybe I'm naïve to either, or but I think they mean to be supportive of me. It's almost like they could get away with making me their "love child" the most lol haahhaahaaha but it's not that its that. Maybe they are the ones out to conquest me with their relationship idealism, and could be the most responsible people that I could yell at who want my conformity, but they have never appeared to be barbaric with their ideals..... Brad, seriously, the swinging/ open relationship lifestyle is something that I find to be very depressing, and I seriously do not want it to work in my life. Other than that, I really don't know what all I should know, or if there was another way to act or react, what I should be reactive for... Peace to you both..... The other VIP is Jack White. He's still on my mind, and I'm glad that he breaks in my mind on occasion. I'm stuck on him and crushing on him for now. I don't feel majorly led on or that he could want to be in a serious relationship. I'm just stuck on him for now and don't really want to keep an open mind to other men. I may eventually get over my crush, but I just wouldn't feel right in looking for another man. ... I think I have figured out Travis and maybe there is more of Travis to figure out, and while he still has a strong push and pull, I still can't give in to him. I can't be accepting with what he wants..............Zack, while I haven't seen the actual local Zack in awhile, he is still around and in my head. He's playing an extremely unsafe game with me and things have never been clear with the way he has started off on the wrong foot. Zack, I've already made a nigger and bastard out of David for the way he was keeping me played with Paris and several other women. I did not let him get away with it. I will not let you get away with it. Zack, I seriously do not trust you at all. I don't mean to lead you on. I am an obvious tease of a dancer, but I don't mean to lead you on. I got over you quickly after the first ordeal and plan on staying over you. There was never anything else established, and you are seriously off on the wrong and most distrusting foot.... As for David, I am still done. The Stockholm was never denied and I know I still can't deny a present one. Whatever David's problem is, he should seriously let go, give up on his Stockholm, and accept it for the serious break up it has been. I am keeping David denied. ..... and after appearing as such a player with these few men, maybe I will run them all off.