So Much Going On

It is still hard to find the time for just about anything and everything. I can only prioritize my time. I'm glad and in relief that I am getting a money break. Last week and this week I have been able to make bank with both jobs. I have my times of luck. I'm still a little strapped for more money because of the time of year and all of the extra expenses, but trying to stay unstressed about it has been a little challenging. I'm reaching my financial goals, but not enough. It's November going on December though. I have over half of my Christmas shopping done and am still ahead in my car payments. Enough is just not enough and I can only be grateful with the recent luck of extra hours and extra tips at work. Last year around this time was much worse. I can only stay in my period of waiting until my savings and loan goals are reached. I've been on edge, but try to do what it takes to be unstressed about it all. ..... Great Wolf Lodge is a really nice place to vacation. Honestly, my favorite part about it was the beds. The bed was such a comfortable and plush bed to get some real rest. I didn't have much relaxation and had an ear infection/cold on the last day, but I at least got some rest. I had fun with Mitzi too of course. She was afraid of some of the most basic kiddie slides, but she found her thrills and fun while in the waterpark. I really wanted to go on some of the more extreme waterslides, but I couldn't because I couldn't leave Mitzi alone. So, I settled for the wave pool and followed her around in the rest of the kiddie park. Great Wolf has some other fun activities and very eccentric and unique at that too. It is a very earthy and nature centered place. It had some wizardry game to play where there were made up quests to go on. ........... I thought I'd let Mitzi have an early Christmas present today and we have already played Mario Kart. It is pretty fun. Mario Kart was so much easier back in the day. I used to make fun of the other kids who thought that moving the control was going to move the car in the right direction, but with the modern day Wiis, that's how it works! When I played my first game, I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. When I started moving my control around a little more; I discovered that moving your control does work. I still have a hard time getting over that and that the regular arrow keys don't work. I was also surprised to find out that the toy stores have more games for the WiiU than the regular Wii. What's the fun of a smaller screen like that? The regular Wii console is so much better. .... Thanksgiving. I'm mad that the wine I got was too sweet. The meal and dessert is unhealthy enough already. I didn't want to add on that much more sugar. Oh well. At least it tastes good. I really don't plan on Black Friday shopping. While there is extra temptation to shop, I usually just pay and afford presents as I go. The clothing places I love to shop have so much of extra deals, it is so tempting to not want to take money out of my savings for some things, but I seriously don't need some clothes that bad. Maybe if I wait until cyber Monday rolls around, I'll have better deals then, but there is still the risk of the best of things being sold out or picked over. Decisions, decisions; tight budget, tight budget........... I haven't had much time in the job search yet. This week is a rough week for employment anyway because most people are preoccupied with too many other things too. I'm glad to have finished my most basic resume. While I have a better financial relief this year and the last; I'm still not happy that there was nothing I could do about the truth of the history of my resume. When bad things happen, they just do, and I can only keep working within my limits. My resume history isn't as bad this time, but I really thought that I would have had a better resume by my age. I have a long term anger where it isn't my fault that I can't make up for some of my lost time or time I felt I could have had better time. I have a lot of things to be angry over, but I try to dwell on other things and can't give up or lose my faith for a better future. I have to try to keep some optimism and hope protected in what sometimes seems the most impossible way. Losing hope is not an option....... Drama, sometimes I just have to talk about it in my own happiness or whatever reason. I wish Jack was more than just in my head sometimes. I still have a common sadness with him and a few other sadness's, but he took some of my sadness from me last night. I have been so worried in knowing I don't want to lose whatever I have with him because of recent things I can't control. I felt like I was making love to him, but there is still no full credit. While some of my sadness of some loneliness is gone too; I still get sad from time to time because I do feel lonely and know he is not all here in my life. He's my dominatrix and I can only be patient and wait. Maybe I'm making it up to him, or I'll always be cursed to the gutter. I could cry over Enya's "Only Time," again, but I'm presently feeling some satisfaction to simmer in and hoping I have given some satisfaction... In a serious horny dirty sexual way. Man I'm hoping it wasn't an intentional mean trick of just a fantasy. I'm hoping there is some truth of his in the fantasy. Damn Jack, what a fantasy. Yes I want Jack to want me to be his sex slave. I hope he stays too smart to ruin it. I hope I'm not stupidly ruining it, but I want to speak my mind sometimes. .... Such a long blog to write and so much still on my mind to yet to get out and doesn't always have to be out. I've rambled enough in my random thoughts though.

What do you mean?

What do you mean you are thrilled? Maybe you could be back to your literal world. I guess it's good that you're not unfairly vindictive or mad at me. I was hoping you would be a little jealous, but it's not that I am intentionally trying to make you jealous.... Can't control emotions... anyhoo, I bet you do have my computer hacked and know my digital routes. The Dr....... The Dr., while I find him attractive, I just don't know about him enough. The brief things I did know were enough of a sign to know I shouldn't want him. Especially if he is going to sing along with David. It's as if they have a shallow, cheap, and assumingly thinking I'm "convenient" way of wanting me. The Dr. or someone else did identify himself as Andrew Keagan at one time. Andrew Keagan off of "10 Things I hate About You," while I knew I never knew him like that, he called the shot that he was a shallow jerk and wanted me in some kind of defeat for him. I don't care if he is a Dr., he is just as too arrogant as the next guy. He did fail me in my recollection. The only story we have was him having a small subtle pass where I remained silent. I wasn't going to play with danger during my pregnancy. Time rolled a little and he seemed to have a thing for Stacy who is one of my top most serious enemies. He is another idiot who doesn't recognize the dangerous person I am when he wants to play me with my enemies. I still never shut up with her vain rapist bitch. Whoever David thought he was at one time and whoever this Dr. thinks he is has another thing coming to him with the impression he left on me. Although I feel like a broken record "Who do people think they are?" I'm still not giving up on my broken record. HOW COULD SOME MEN WHO HAVE ALREADY FUCKED UP OR MADE A SERIOUS MISTAKE KEEP COMING AFTER ME LIKE I'M THAT EASY AND THEY HAVE THE MOST SERIOUS CHANCE WITH ME? I'm sick of getting beat up like that..... In all fairness, the Dr. does have some attractiveness to him. It's like you would give the explanation as to why he wants me is because of the assumption of him thinking that I would be that easy and willing of a doormat for him. No, I'm not willing to be his doormat and be taken advantage of like that. He doesn't seriously want me enough, and according to you, he wants me for his own bad intention. If he did want me enough and could find a way to prove it, he would have to find a way to prove it then, and it is back to the start with how bad of a first impression he made on me, AND HOW IS HE GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT? ....I was going to wait to see if the Dr. had something more to say for himself, but since you're around, I guess I get to be the first to have my rant against him. If you're on his side, whyever are you on his side? Do you seriously have a personal connection to him? I don't know Italian, and I had no clue what his message was in the movie "To Rome with Love." I didn't get half of the movie and personally thought it was a very boring and very random movie. I got lied about twice with Penelope. Like Cory ever paid me, and like I'd expect it. So much dominate gossip on me leads me to where I am. I have been looking for another job, and havn't been having much luck yet. Gotta keep moving.