So Much Going On

It is still hard to find the time for just about anything and everything. I can only prioritize my time. I'm glad and in relief that I am getting a money break. Last week and this week I have been able to make bank with both jobs. I have my times of luck. I'm still a little strapped for more money because of the time of year and all of the extra expenses, but trying to stay unstressed about it has been a little challenging. I'm reaching my financial goals, but not enough. It's November going on December though. I have over half of my Christmas shopping done and am still ahead in my car payments. Enough is just not enough and I can only be grateful with the recent luck of extra hours and extra tips at work. Last year around this time was much worse. I can only stay in my period of waiting until my savings and loan goals are reached. I've been on edge, but try to do what it takes to be unstressed about it all. ..... Great Wolf Lodge is a really nice place to vacation. Honestly, my favorite part about it was the beds. The bed was such a comfortable and plush bed to get some real rest. I didn't have much relaxation and had an ear infection/cold on the last day, but I at least got some rest. I had fun with Mitzi too of course. She was afraid of some of the most basic kiddie slides, but she found her thrills and fun while in the waterpark. I really wanted to go on some of the more extreme waterslides, but I couldn't because I couldn't leave Mitzi alone. So, I settled for the wave pool and followed her around in the rest of the kiddie park. Great Wolf has some other fun activities and very eccentric and unique at that too. It is a very earthy and nature centered place. It had some wizardry game to play where there were made up quests to go on. ........... I thought I'd let Mitzi have an early Christmas present today and we have already played Mario Kart. It is pretty fun. Mario Kart was so much easier back in the day. I used to make fun of the other kids who thought that moving the control was going to move the car in the right direction, but with the modern day Wiis, that's how it works! When I played my first game, I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. When I started moving my control around a little more; I discovered that moving your control does work. I still have a hard time getting over that and that the regular arrow keys don't work. I was also surprised to find out that the toy stores have more games for the WiiU than the regular Wii. What's the fun of a smaller screen like that? The regular Wii console is so much better. .... Thanksgiving. I'm mad that the wine I got was too sweet. The meal and dessert is unhealthy enough already. I didn't want to add on that much more sugar. Oh well. At least it tastes good. I really don't plan on Black Friday shopping. While there is extra temptation to shop, I usually just pay and afford presents as I go. The clothing places I love to shop have so much of extra deals, it is so tempting to not want to take money out of my savings for some things, but I seriously don't need some clothes that bad. Maybe if I wait until cyber Monday rolls around, I'll have better deals then, but there is still the risk of the best of things being sold out or picked over. Decisions, decisions; tight budget, tight budget........... I haven't had much time in the job search yet. This week is a rough week for employment anyway because most people are preoccupied with too many other things too. I'm glad to have finished my most basic resume. While I have a better financial relief this year and the last; I'm still not happy that there was nothing I could do about the truth of the history of my resume. When bad things happen, they just do, and I can only keep working within my limits. My resume history isn't as bad this time, but I really thought that I would have had a better resume by my age. I have a long term anger where it isn't my fault that I can't make up for some of my lost time or time I felt I could have had better time. I have a lot of things to be angry over, but I try to dwell on other things and can't give up or lose my faith for a better future. I have to try to keep some optimism and hope protected in what sometimes seems the most impossible way. Losing hope is not an option....... Drama, sometimes I just have to talk about it in my own happiness or whatever reason. I wish Jack was more than just in my head sometimes. I still have a common sadness with him and a few other sadness's, but he took some of my sadness from me last night. I have been so worried in knowing I don't want to lose whatever I have with him because of recent things I can't control. I felt like I was making love to him, but there is still no full credit. While some of my sadness of some loneliness is gone too; I still get sad from time to time because I do feel lonely and know he is not all here in my life. He's my dominatrix and I can only be patient and wait. Maybe I'm making it up to him, or I'll always be cursed to the gutter. I could cry over Enya's "Only Time," again, but I'm presently feeling some satisfaction to simmer in and hoping I have given some satisfaction... In a serious horny dirty sexual way. Man I'm hoping it wasn't an intentional mean trick of just a fantasy. I'm hoping there is some truth of his in the fantasy. Damn Jack, what a fantasy. Yes I want Jack to want me to be his sex slave. I hope he stays too smart to ruin it. I hope I'm not stupidly ruining it, but I want to speak my mind sometimes. .... Such a long blog to write and so much still on my mind to yet to get out and doesn't always have to be out. I've rambled enough in my random thoughts though.