I know my world is a tough one to figure out sometimes. I call it a Burmuda, but I am bothered at how some other people perceive it and even simplify my problems and issues:
http://horoscopes.mydaily.com/astrology/2011/01/04/2011-horoscope-might-be-wrong?icid=maing%7Cmain5%7Cdl3%7Csec2_lnk1%7C34548
This is more than horoscopes and astrology. Someone could be simply picking on me with me occasionally reading horoscopes in the newspaper. Have they asked if I believe it? Have they asked how seriously I take it?
Not at all. It looks more like it is aimed at "my faultiness," or "delusions," and/or thoughts that I have.
For their info: I have experienced numerous types and kinds of abuse throughout my lifetime. It is beyond horroscopes and astrology.
Even though my real name is not being used, there are times when I still experience abuse, exploitations, communism, and so many different routes of psychological and mental abuse. Sure, its "all my responsibility for simply reading horoscopes in the newspaper on occassion."
Piss poor judgement by the person responsible for this blame game. No ship in this battle ship game destroyed, although it may count as a score in their own world.
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Lief Garrett. It is not the literal source but a catty connection that is in relation to an interest in my world. It is so disappointing with some new info that I learn. The info was actually more directed to him having an alcoholic problem, but another undiscussed connection was there was another catty connection of him being racist. Just for the record, there have been other men I have dated and been attracted to that are defintely not racist. Still, it bothers me when I discover men that I have been interested in or who have attracted me are racist. Bummer.
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My white Pontiac Grand Am has officially had its last drive. It would cost me a large sum of money to fix it, so I'm going to have to wait to save and buy a new car. So sad. I drove it all through my college years since 2002. It's been quite a bitch at times, but it's been a ride. RIP old car. Its been good.
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Eminem. I was quite surprised and feel like there has been some things I havn't talked about with Eminem. I do listen to some music from time to time, but recently, I'm upset.
Even after his new record with the music video with Palin in it; I can't say I'm his biggest fan.
Some other songs are in the way.
I can understand old school history where some people are either going through something or simply sowing their wild oats:
Yes, he said put anthrax on that tampax and slap you until you can't stand.
I know I've had my one night stands, and so have plenty of other people most likely. The point though isn't a black sheep fued, although it just may turn into a judgemental contest. It's his abuse.
There have been plenty of other songs where he gets gangster and macho man, but I just happened to pick this one as an example.
Another part of my Burmuda that I am seriously suspicious of after seeing South Park is this: (talk about a major knife in the back). I'm numb to it now, but it is so vain and ego-centric for him, anyone else, and especially my own dad to have called me "Stan." I have a feeling it will probably turn into a new name-calling for the especially ego-centric and god-complex people:
Back to my main thought of eminem: I'm upset because even in the present he is still an abusive woman hater:
See, when it comes to Palin, I get offended. I was the one who made him? I won't take it to the extreme, but it really does offend me.
As many times I have already noted that I'm a vulnerable adult and constantly feel like my life is in danger, I'm still going to roll with freedom of speech anyway. (The nerve of anyone giving me a hard time after what he said).
Anyway, when it comes to karma games and that we are all the same, I am anorexic among so many other instances.
You know what eminem? You really need to learn to be single. Maybe some women really do want the abuse. Maybe some women like to provoke and are ego-less when it comes to being hit. Maybe there are women who are proud to be abused. But, do you ever care to think how it really reflects on you?
Maybe you like to be that way. It is what leads me to what I say: Why complain if you want to be that way?
In my own account, I really am very careful with what I complain about and the extent of my complaint. There are some things that I know are out of my control. The things that are in my control could be compared to a diet of self control. I do have an ego sometimes, and I know how easy it is for others to compete with the blame game. It is so predictable anytime there is a complaint for someone to say: "Then, why? Why do you do this? Why are you doing this? Why? Why? Why?
There really are not many people out there who have an easy time accepting blame for anything whatsoever. So, when it comes to my own personal life, I find it very easy to call someone out for their own ignorance if I get labeled as a pig. I really do handle and carry most of my weight. I take a lot of responsibility and claim a lot of independence over my life. I'm not saying that I will take any punishment or blame on any occassion. Like so many other things, if someone happens to care about something in my life, then I say it depends and make my own judgement when it comes to calling the shots.
This is a big reason for my anti-socialism when someone else plays barbie and calls the shots in my life. It's kind of like an SOS to wait for a rescue boat or a rescue plane.
Anyway, if there is going to be mischief, trouble, or debates, this is a battle/debate that at least has some purpose/reason/relevance. I hate dealing with some ignorant who do not understand extent or how I take it in my own world. But, I am giving myself some kind of voice when it comes to the up to date eminem.
As for Nicki Minaj, I do sometimes question if I am connected to her. Like a couple of other singers, it is common for people to have relatable feelings sometimes. However, I don't completely identify with her. I see myself as still being unique of her and very complicated and depending on own personal descriptives if there are certain lyrics that are ever aimed at anything.
I really am not asking for someone to puppet my life to bring out any chemistry either.
(not a comment aimed at Nicki, but my own observations of my personal life). I know how communistic it can be.
I definitely do deny the lyrics though of me "pissing on someone." No, not something I would say.
I get angry at times, but when dealing with it, it is another area that is adjusted to my own personal life of how I am angry.
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