As the Sarah Turns: Mostly Same Story

Always mixed information and rumors with a different story that is being broken into my head..... Present thoughts are still on the coach. I have seen the signs that "he is gay." Once again, I can only believe he is bisexual with what I know and what I'm being told. Whether or not he is intentionally sending negative mixed signals or someone else seriously does not want me to want him with the rumors and signs is something I still don't know. Where does some information come from? Some recent "said info" wasn't good. Mike was being labeled with Sam. I know online creepy and morbid hateful Sam and my dad's gay (ex)boyfriend who is creepy and morbidly violent Sam. I just haven't seen the morbid violent hater in Mike, but I'm being warned he is a morbid and violent psycho. I can't believe he has any kind of crush on my dad either. I just won't believe he is into my dad. I don't know what some of Mike's recent violence was about in the head, but it wasn't Sam's kind of violence. Jon has been a gangbanger with my father before to make me their basement slave and be in terror. Words can't describe how much I hate Jon and the trillions of reasons he has given me to see him as the worst lowlife scum. It isn't a good sign to be compared with Sam. I hear most men are bisexual or gay anymore. I've honestly felt more comfortable with the more straight ones, but when the majority of guys seem like that, it's just the uncomfortable norm. Mike has recently kept me seduced in the head while talk and rumors keep going. There was another sign I saw, but I forget what the other negative sign was too. Oh it was "Rob Lowe." I never noticed the resemblance at an earlier time. Maybe they just happen to look a little alike and it means nothing. Rob Lowe is another mean sexual assault against my small breasts. I know I've seen other "Mike's" in the arbitrage at the club that have complimented them, but I just dance and do my thing and didn't think too much of it. I would be mad if he were being two-faced on purpose with me for intentions I just wouldn't know..... It's like I can only stay Mike's seduced captive and keep saying and doing nothing. He's in my head on some occasion and signs come and go. He's still a Bollywood. In some ways I don't mind the seduction and romance, but I think it is another pattern on a hopeless situation where nothing will ever happen. It's like everything is over but it isn't. Thinking out loud and trying to let Mike in and into my head in other ways...........