Random

These past couple weeks have been very frustrating. I have weeks where it isn't hard to plan and stick to a schedule at all. With how much I have wanted to stick with a planned schedule last week and this week; it has been impossible with too many hurdles. There is not enough time already and now there is really not enough time with Christmas just a few days away. I did a dipshit move about a week ago which cost me over 100.00 to get my entire break light fixed. I wasn't crossing my T's and dotting my i's enough when putting my car in reverse and accidentally hit a mailbox. (The mailbox stood strong). With the way Pittsburgh roads are and just how narrow some are, it isn't difficult for a person to get a few bangs and bruises on their car, but some simple dipshit move of mine was costly. It was costly on top of another car repair that I will be getting fixed very soon. It is just too frustrating to have so many expenses in this month. A person can't but help to want to shop for their self with all the deals and steals that go on. Shopping is so irresistible. … In my other self demands, I have had a strong urge to go to the casino in the past few weeks. I really meant to go today. Instead, I got a little more Christmas shopping done and had to wait to get my car fixed. I also chose to go the long haul with the calls. One call took me too much across town from the casino that by the time that I would have traveled to the casino, I wouldn't have enough time at all. I can at least feel some sense of satisfaction and responsibility with the extra amount of money that I made, but I can't stand to have to keep postponing my free time and the fun I could be having. As much as I want to get out this week; I most likely won't be able to. I will be stuck with my same drill and routine with getting last minute Christmas shopping done and taking some Uber calls. … While I am glad to get one home project out of the way, I still have a little ways to go in getting ready for the dating scene. I see a major change of pace in the next couple of months after I get through with some projects and I am a little antsy about the dating. Although I can't get out as much as I want, am I really ready to settle down? I plan on including in the online dating site that I am definitely a type that likes to get out and go on dates, but I have a minor phobia when finally finding just one. It isn't that I've ever wanted more than one. It is a much different state of being serious with someone even though some bollywoods occasionally want to make me feel some seriousness is there. I've always been wanting to break away more and more from the bollywoods but that has always been the only thing that seems to have been there. It is still not the acceptable status quo. I have a few other minor phobias towards the dating scene and I am hoping that in the long run it would be worth it to endure going through some minor phobias to find the right match. Even when a person is not even completely in love right away, it is still work to find, to date, to be in a relationship with someone. The better the match, the less work it will feel. It is what I would believe to be true anyway. I feel I will have my last few solo independent pre-bachelorette parties before being more serious in the dating scene. I gotta have a few more serious weekend clubbing nights and a one night stand or two. I will get some of the party out of my system and then let myself feel too old to have such a bachelorette lifestyle. I have a month or two to spare before I get some home projects done....